But according to this research, successful dates included exchanges in which the man artfully interrupted the woman to say something that showed they had a shared experience.
For example, an ideal exchange would be if the woman said something like, “I saw Radiohead last summer and they were amazing,” and the man stops her to say: “I’m so jealous—Radiohead is one of my favorite bands, too,” before allowing her to continue.
But if you say, “I love to wake up on a Sunday morning, grab some coffee and a croissant at my favorite coffee spot, and then head down to the beach with my surfboard and hit the waves,” that gives her a really clear idea of what you mean.
Then, follow it up with a question like: “Do you surf? It’s so much fun.” This way, your date can decide whether what you like to do sounds interesting to her or not.
On the one hand, you want to appear interested, engaging, and just flirtatious enough that she knows it’s a date and not a one-way ticket to the “friend zone.” On the other, you don’t want to come on so strong that she thinks you’re only interested in having sex.
It’s not always easy, of course—especially when nerves come into play and you two aspiring lovebirds struggle to find your conversational footing.
But to help you say all of the right things that fall squarely in that sweet spot, we reached out to several top relationship and dating experts to gather all of the great one-liners you can have in your pocket to keep the conversation exactly where it should be: on the right track.
So is being in touch with who you are and what you’re after.
Remember: generic compliments come off as insincere.
And if you’re trying to date a co-worker, you’ve got another set of rules to be aware of. Cell phone use is a major sticking point for many daters, according to Match.com’s annual Singles in America study.
“If you have good relationships with your family and friends, it provides evidence that you are capable of the reciprocity needed for a healthy relationship,” he explains.
Basically, it reinforces the idea that you’re a caring person who is capable of having meaningful and lasting relationships. “It also sends a message that you know how to balance your life and that you are capable of having good boundaries,” De Pompo explains.